If you have been following along, you know that I’ve been giving my input on CDI’s (Career Directors International) competition winners for the best resumes of 2008. If you missed that, here is a link to the MyRetailCareer blog that started with resume #1 and here is a link to the MyRetailCareer SkyDrive folder where I put copies of the resumes.
Like all resumes, #3 has good points and bad points. I feel here that the bad points outweigh the good points. What’s my beef? It’s long and you have to read it. I had to force myself and twice I put the resume down without finishing.
I’m a big proponent of the “Platinum Rule” and if you haven’t read it, you should. While the Golden Rule says, “Treat others like you would like to be treated,” the Platinum Rule says, “Treat others how they would like to be treated.” When sending out resumes you have to consider who it’s going to received by.
If someone is getting 300+ resumes a week because they have 5 jobs posted on Monster or CareerBuilder, the chances of them reading this resume are slim. No matter how much good stuff is buried in it.
The resume starts off with this.
The four bullet points, at that “point of white heat” don’t really say much. I don’t really know what they actually mean. “Consummate Membership Services Directions” are what, directions on how to get to the front desk delivered by a butler? I think I understand what they are trying to communicate but say what you mean. Isn’t this trying to communicate that the manager has focused on customer service, creative marketing, team development and sales training to improve sales and profitability?
It’s also sounds like it was written with a thesaurus in one hand, which can contribute to wordiness. My Freshman year college English Professor once gave me an F on a one-page paper for using the word “very” as in “very important.” He wrote on the side, “It’s either important or it’s not, there is no reason to use two words when one will suffice.”
I like that this writer pulled a lot of skills out and backed most of them up with numbers. Once more I’d like the numbers to have both percentages and numbers attached and less “fluffy” words that just take up space.
- Branding: Re-enrolled 55 prior clients (20% of total lost clients) by effectively communicating our new identity and business plans.
This one kills me because there is so much “good stuff” here and after I read the 4 different percentages my head hurts.
- Team Development: Provided strong emphasis on selling excellence and sales metrics resulted in:
- Sales closing rate of 50% from initial phone call to on-site visit (Company average is 30%).
- Up-selling efforts resulted in 40% of new clients being converted to “platinum membership” and increased member fees 60%, $100K annually.
I like the Snapshot boxes on the right side of the resume, they answer a lot of questions. I think this resume, of all three, has the most going on but you have to dig for it and I’m concerned that many screeners will give up before finding the pot of gold.
I hope that this exercise encourages all of you to pull out your resume and compare it to all 3 of these. There is no right or wrong way here. I base my opinions and thoughts on having been a 3rd party recruiter for 7 years. I worked on multiple and diverse positions at the same time while also reviewing hundreds of unsolicited resumes each week. I appreciated resumes that got “to the point” were easy to review and quickly identified the candidate’s individuals skills and accomplishments.
Have a wonderful weekend.
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